Warm-Weather Alert!

With spring just around the corner and the first UNSEASONABLY warm day drawing near, fashion disasters will be in full swing. Take this svelte fella for example.

Wearing huge sombreros or Turd Ferguson foam-cowboy hats are ok in certain circles, but water-fowl hats are a huge no-no. Pink isn’t his color.

Let’s skip right past if it’s a good idea for men to wear shell bras. Those who know better … never would. Those who this message is intended for won’t listen anyway. My only recommendation would be:  either wear shells that don’t blend in with your pasty skin, or get a freakin’ tan. Powder over there just looks like a fat freak without nipples.

Please make a choice when busting out the shorts. Over the gut, like George Foreman stepping into the ring, or below and let that flab show in all its glory. This “I’ll hide my waistline to conceal my overweight physique” crap just doesn’t work. Everybody already thinks you look like 280 pounds of chewed gum. Best bet is – just keep your shirt on!

TAGS: ,

Comments are closed.