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Holding Pattern

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Holding Pattern

Living the “High Life” never looked so bad. I’m sure the Miller Brewing company would send him 40 cases of Bud Light in hopes he would forsake their sacred brand.

I don’t know what this fella was thinking before heading out the door. Other than the ladies he paid to pose in this photo with him, this is a rare instance of a flat-out DON’T.

There is way too much pattern-on-pattern crime going on here! This outfit could easily be confused for a 3D-puzzle unitard, where onlookers just stare hoping if they concentrate enough, the hidden picture will appear.

Wearing clothes you owned from 7th grade is one thing. Creepy, yet your own business. Wearing them in public for everybody to suffer seeing is another and an offense worthy of caning, if you ask me. I get short of breath just thinking about how tight that shirt is. The High Life logo is so stretched that it looks more like Orville Redenbacher’s bow tie than the symbol for the champagne of beers. The Larry Bird shorts went out of style for a reason, and Chewbacca here is showing us why.

Based on the expression on his face, the untied shoe and the Livestrong bracelet; I’m fairly sure his brain is too busy trying to process the millions of messages sent from his crotch, begging for air to notice anything else.

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